What You Do To Me
by Arigatou Sheitarou
Summary: I realized the line between friendship and love had blurred that night. And I remember you. And you somehow seemed so pretty, and so bright.  So…radiant.  And I found it strange.  After all, I had only ever thought of you as my best friend. [FateNanoha]


_What You Do To Me_

It's strange, isn't it, Fate?

This ability of yours to render me speechless whenever I'm near you...I find it very strange.

I can never find the words to tell you the things my heart longs to shout. I'm not surprised you haven't heard it; after all, you've always had the tendency to block out the things you don't want to hear. Or feel. It sometimes makes me sad, but it's something that makes you who you are, and I wouldn't alter you in any way, even if my life somehow depended upon it.

It scares me that I'm beginning to think about you more than I think about anything else. It scares me that you're starting to matter more than the things I've always considered a necessity. Whenever I see or speak to you, I flush; at the slightest or most innocent of touches, I shiver. I don't understand why it is that whenever I'm around you, my pulse skyrockets. My heartbeat is haywire, and I can't sleep well anymore. Whenever I do sleep, however short a period, I remember everything about you, and even in my sleep, my heart races and struggles to break free of the chains I have put around it. I'm always thinking of you and it scares me. Because this is what you do to me.

Sometimes I believe you don't really notice I'm there. It doesn't exactly feel great, since I usually tend to know where you are at all times, and what you're doing. It comes to me as an instinct. You've become a part of me, and you're already in too deep for me to get out of this unscathed. Even so, I've tried to hate you. All my efforts have proven to be in vain. You're in my system, and I don't really want to get you out.

Other times I feel like you're not even there. You see me, but at the same time, you don't see me. You make me feel as though I'm seeing a ghost, an illusion that my fevered mind has come up with to ease my fears and chase them all away. It's not that simple to try and understand something when it doesn't really want you to see it. And you're that way, surrounded by a wall of steel that manages to repel people; it manages to scare them away before they even get to know the real you.

You've always been so quiet. In school, you were popular and polite, and people liked you for it, but at the same time you never spoke of your own volition. Only when you really wanted to, and when you needed to. And your desire to speak was never very frequent. You are one of those people who speak without using words. You have never had a need for them. I have noticed this, and I have learned to understand you; but this is only because you let me. If not, you would have probably repelled me along with everyone else. But I had to struggle for that place in your heart. I had to go through many things to prove myself trustworthy, because you have never been able to trust easily. It is something I respect, and it brings me sorrow because I know you have a reason to be this way.

Life has not been kind to you, has it, Fate?

I don't know when it started, and I cannot seem to remember there being a time when I hadn't loved you. It is strange; terribly, dreadfully strange. I used to wait for you to get out of work outside, because I always finished early. And now I'm tripping over my shoes on my way to you, because I can't wait outside for five minutes. I need to talk to you, and I find myself constantly checking to see if you're done, even when I know you aren't, because there's always a small chance that you might be. This is what you do to me.

I realized that the line between friendship and love had blurred one night after a successful mission. We had all gone to celebrate; even my newest trainees had come along. And I remember you that night. And you somehow seemed so pretty, and so bright. So…_radiant_. And I found it strange. After all, I had only ever thought of you as my best friend. Or at least, I had never realized that I found you attractive, and not just physically, but in personality as well. No, I had not realized it until that night; and it was not until a few hours later that I realized what I was feeling.

I realized what it was that I was feeling when we both stumbled inside our room, the room we had both shared since we had begun our missions under Hayate's command, and we were both drunk, and I kissed you and you kissed me back. And we somehow ended up falling onto the bed, and for a while neither of us said anything. There was only a profound silence; I thought my ears would bleed.

For a moment, I thought you had fallen asleep, or maybe within that drunken state, you had begun to feel a dangerous amount of remorse for our actions. But instead, you rendered me speechless again as you said those three words. The words that would end up sobering me up and taking away any amount of sleep I may have obtained that night.

_"I adore you."_

I believe that was around the time I realized that I loved you.

You've always said you remind yourself of autumn, because autumn is cold; sometimes warm, but only rarely. These are the things that hurt me, because the autumn I know has always been warm. At least, it has always been so to me.

I don't think you've noticed the power you have over me. Then again, I've never done anything to draw attention to this fact. After all, I've always teased you about things, like your being a worrywart and a big softie. I love doing this because of your reactions, because I cannot help but find them adorable. It's even better when you blush, because then I have a chance to tease you even more. But you hardly ever do, and instead, you make me blush instead. I've already said how much you make me shiver, but sometimes I find myself thinking things I shouldn't, and even though I know I have no one to blame but myself for that, I find myself trying to blame you for being so… frustratingly unforgettable.

Now, I find it very hard to concentrate when I'm working. I continue thinking about you constantly, and I find myself wondering when I will have the courage to speak the secret words that lie in my heart. Nothing has changed between us, and I wonder if you're ignoring the events from that night; that night that now seems to have happened a lifetime ago, when it's really only been a few months.

Soon, I know I will find the words to tell you how I feel. And secretly, I long for the day in which you will realize that the warmth that precedes autumn never really goes away.

_**A/N: **Hah, I did it! It took me less than 20 minutes to write this, and then I re-read it, trying to make sure I got the spelling mistakes. I'm not sure if I did a very good job doing that, though. Well, anyway, hope you liked this. I had a sudden burst of inspiration, and I just finished it 3 minutes ago. Nice, eh? Heh...let's just say...it's dedicated to someone. And I hope that person realizes. I...am not sure if it's a good piece or not. But, I hope you all like it. And by the way, this is NOT the sequel to Fade Within Obscurity. So...anyway, call this an AU or a Post StrikerS. Whatever you feel like calling it. I'm sure the characters weren't very...in character._

_Cheers!_


End file.
